Going to write a paragraph on Tumblr for once, given that it’s late at night, I’m pissed beyond explanation, and no one is up for me to vent to. I’ve had such a hard year and have felt so uncomfortable living where I do. Never again am I living somewhere where the landlord resides in the same living quarters. Never again do I want to live in a rooming house. Living in a city is tough, and the older I’ve gotten, the less desire I’ve had to even live in a big city anymore. However, I’m still going to school here, and I have to continue to live in Toronto before I finish. My landlord has been giving me such a hard time the whole time I’ve lived here for doing virtually nothing. Tonight I was trying to finish a paper to hand in this morning, and he just HAD to send me a text telling me I’ve been keeping him up when I was sitting in my bed making NO noise for at least the past hour. Now I’m so frustrated and I can’t fucking concentrate. I fucking HATE this lifestyle and way of living so fucking much. I just want to get my own apartment in a basement and live on my own next year with no one close enough to me to complain and no fucking roommates.
I have GAD, and while I hate using any kind of disorder as a crutch, sometimes at night, especially during the times when everything is due at school, I don’t sleep and I have a very hard time staying still. The landlord complained about me moving around earlier this year and I told him it’s a hard thing for me to do during school. But, nope, he had to complain again tonight. I wasn’t even fucking doing anything.
I’m leaving to go stay at my mom’s for part of my summer before I go to stay with my aunt and uncle in London. I just can’t fucking wait to leave and be able to stay somewhere where I don’t have to feel so fucking insecure and anxious. This year has been so hard for me and right now I’m taking six courses at school and nearly losing my mind. You’re complaining that you haven’t gotten any sleep? I’m pretty sure the landlord isn’t even working right now and that he and his son are selling this house. One day not long ago they had an agent here who was looking at it. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a long time.
It seems like landlords will literally find any reason to complain about you, even when you have turned yourself into the most stealthy, quiet, respectful, eggshell-treading tenant after years of living in rooms, and who, heaven forbid… might be up late during crunch time at school when term assignments and tests are due! If they don’t like young people who live this lifestyle, then I suggest they don’t rent their rooms to students!
At night now, ever since the first time he complained, when I’m up late I usually sit huddled in my bed, tiptoe to use the washroom, and do whatever I can to never make a peep out of utmost respect for the other tenants. My roommates have told me on more than one occasion that they think I’m a chill, quiet, respectful person (my one roommate once even said “sometimes you’re so quiet that we don’t even know you’re here”) and say they’re gonna be sad to see someone so easy to live with leave at the end of the school year. Yet the power-tripping landlord here can’t just bite his tongue over the fact that someone who is paying him RENT may have taken a few steps inside their room they are PAYING to live in at night. Cry me a fucking river, and fuck you for making this stressful time harder than it already is on me. I hope what goes around comes around. May the person who moves in after I leave walk around their room like an elephant. So fucking done with living like this.